Not sure why

Some of you who have followed our life the past few months know it has been nothing short of craziness...

For those of you who aren't familiar with all that we have been through, here is a short synopsis of what God has been doing in our lives and hearts.

 1. In late December, we felt God prompting us to slow down.  For me, that is a hard thing to do.  At that time, I wasn't sure in what respect I was to slow down, but knew that was definite.  Through lots of prayer, I began to feel God press me to let go of my wellness business downtown.  I only had the downtown location for a year (in May) and couldn't believe I was to let go of all I had built up through clientele, classes, instructors, programs, and services--not to mention the close-knit relationships I had built through teaching classes and personal training. I saw my work as a ministry and worked to maintain relationships through all that I did.  I continued to ask God "why?"  There was no logical reasoning why I was to let it all go...the way I saw it...all my hard work, sweat, and tears would just go down the drain.  But nevertheless, I closed my doors May 1.

2. I dearly missed being 'busy', seeing people all the time, continuing to grow relationships and my ministry.

3. Felt a 'heaviness' that I described to many as an uncertainty--something I hadn't experienced in a LONG time.  I had no idea why God was asking us to slow down, give up my friendships, and be 'still.'  I chose to fast, get in the Word like I've never done before, and just focus on my relationship with God, and give my kid's much-needed attention.  Even as I felt myself growing spiritually and my patience with my children grow, I continued to feel 'heavy.'  It was as if I was missing something...

4. Then we found Blake.  We had been browsing over RR website for a long time, I had read all the stories, had prayed for the children, and had considered someday adopting a child--just didn't figure it would be any time soon.

5. But God works in mysterious ways, He intervened in a quick way, moving Jerad's heart to adopt and here we are.  And immediately, the 'heaviness' was lifted. 

6. I still had questions, though, because I felt so clearly that God was asking me to slow down, take time for myself, rest. Focus on my family and just be 'still.'  To me, all this paperwork, etc. was not slowing down, it was making my life busy again....
But what I have only felt God reveal to me recently is:  It's a different kind of busy.  He is showing me that I need to slow down and focus on a less broad group of people.  I need to focus on myself, my children, and my husband.  I need to give them my energy, my patience, and my focus.  I am able to do this SO much better when I am not too busy giving myself away to everyone else.  I love being around people and serving them, but I can't just stop.  It's all or nothing.  Being at home doing this paperwork, has protected me from the influence of a lot of people asking me to do 'this' or 'that.'  I have spent many more nights at home, with my family, resting, and praying.  This adoption has slowed me down, believe it or not, it has kept me home.  Where God had wanted me to be from the beginning...He just knew it was going to take something I'm very passionate about to keep me 'still', something that touched my soul, something that would change my life.
He knew Blake could do just that.
God is already using Him in my life.  I can't wait  to see how He uses him to help others.
That's why I'm here. 
Resting.