Never would have thought...

  Jerad and I attended an International Adoption Seminar in KC all day today.  While we were driving home perusing over all the paperwork we were inundated with and trying not to feel overwhelmed...we discussed how different our lives have turned out to be.  I think this verse sums it up pretty great!

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

      I can think of many instances where I said, “I will never do this,” or “I will do that.” For example, I can distinctly remember telling my high school friends that I would not get married until I was 30.  I told my parents I would probably not have kids.  I told my college roommate that I would never live in Alva, Oklahoma.  I said I would not move back to a small town.  I said I would never drive a minivan.  I also knew I was going to Fort Hays State University for college.  I was going to be a Graphic Design/Art Major.  I was going to be successful in a big city with a big career.  And on…and on.    So to break it all down, I was married at 21.  Had my first child at 23.  Finished my college degree at Northwestern Oklahoma State University in Alva, Oklahoma.  Have lived in 2 small towns since leaving home.  Went to Pratt Community College.  Graduated with an Exercise Science degree.  Am a stay-at-home mom.  Everything I had planned out in my head for my future never happened.  (Except for the never owning a minivan rule, and I refuse to allow that one to happen.)

     What I have learned is that all the ways, plans, and thoughts I have about what should happen in my life and what is best for me, is not anything close to what God has planned.  Like I said before, adopting a special needs child in a foreign country was not even on the radar until this past year.  I have only come to realize how finite I am in this world.  I have no idea what is going on outside my house most days, let alone what is going on outside my town, state, country, or world.  Because of my limited potential to understand what is going on around me, I do not know what is best for me.  I may think I do at times, but God is quick to humble me of such thoughts.  Just as He declares in Isaiah 55, “my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.”  We cannot understand God’s omnipotence.  And then, “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  We cannot understand God’s omniscience.  Because I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around His infinite thoughts and ways, it is hard for me to trust that He knows best.  While this may be unsettling at times, it is also freeing to know that God’s ways and thoughts are higher than mine, therefore I can rest assured in His abilities and power.  What’s even more amazing is that He uses this power to benefit me, because He knows what is best for me, because He has a plan and purpose for me, and mostly because He loves me.   

Which means I’ll never have to drive a minivan…