Monday, April 20, 2015

Better Than Sex Cake..(not for the one baking it)

So Jerad's birthday was yesterday, and he slept all day and worked all night.  So we had a small window of celebration time in there.  Because he has already installed and made use of his birthday gift...a Garmin fish finder...we didn't have any presents to open, or cards to read.  So I decided to make him his favorite cake.  

Let me preface this...with this...I am NOT a baker.  Trust me.  I have made cake pops that look like turds on a stick.  Cake Pop (see here)  And probably 12 dozen hockey pucks.  Just last week I made a banana cake that burned over in the oven, nearly started a fire, and left ash all over the entire house...3 hours before we were to show the house.  I seriously had to wash my hair 3 times before the smell was gone.  So he better know how big of a deal this was...just for him...I prayed for supernatural favor over this process ahead of fact, the plea for holy angels to come down and take over may have even been said...

I looked up the recipe.  His mom makes an Italian Cream Cake, he LOVES.  So I looked up online some different versions of it until I found one I liked.  As I was typing it in...the "Better than Sex Cake" recipe kept coming up as an alternate name to this recipe version.  As I was baking it, I kept having this thought.  This cake is NOT "Better than Sex" for the one baking it.  Let me tell you.  Just the stress of making it could leave you needing a massage and a hot bath (which we all know leads to next) just to recover.  Directions such as: Mix a portion of the buttermilk with the salt, set aside.  Then add the egg yolks only.   Then layer the flour in.  But not too quickly.  Whip the egg whites until they are stiff?  (what in the heck does that mean?)  Set aside.  Get a 29th bowl out of your pantry and mix the sugar, coconut, cream cheese and that your entire kitchen is covered in dirty dishes..find enough room to pour all the ingredients together, cream.  Then pour into two bowls covered in parchment paper.  Place in oven...while baking, clean 3 bowls because you will need those for the frosting....and on and on....

I should have mentioned I don't like doing dishes either.  So you can imagine my disgust.  Anyway, 2 hours later. I had the cakes baked, frosting made, cakes layered, cake frosted.  And was starting in on the dishes...

When I get this text...from Jerad, while at work>>>>

Him:  "Hey...I think I'm going to start a sugar-free diet in??"

ME:   "HECK NO. I just made you a cake, that you are going to love, and eat, whether it tastes good or not...because I made the effort.  So sugar-free diet can start Monday...OK???  It's supposed to be better than sex, but I'll let you decide that..."

Him:  "Ooook??" (and I won't include where this conversation went after that because I know my grandmas read this blog) :)

Anyway, it ended up tasting pretty good, believe it or not.  It was VERY rich, so none of us could eat more than a few bites at a time.  But I have to say, whether holy angels came down and took over (almost positive, they did) or not, I made my first "layered" cake that didn't slide off onto the floor or was burned so bad I could use it as a stepping stone outside. It was edible! Check one off for me.

Happy Birthday Jerad!! 


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