Monday, April 6, 2015

Poopy Easter

Daddy's morning pic of the day!  Super Duper!

This was an IG post I made. Blake was signing "poop" while we were trapped in the Walmart line...forEVER.

Playdate at the park.  Skipping rocks.

The boys.

Fishing derby with Papa.

One product from the fishing derby at Papa's.

Leah helping out a tired Easter egg hunter.

Great Grandmas analyzing the egg hunt.

Blake had more fun washing his eggs and rocks than hunting them.

Prepping.  But nervous. She was a trooper.

Big Sister got new earrings.

Great Grandma and Baby

My sweet sis and hubby, and of course Baby Luke.
My personal fav.

Leah's tense pose.

...and Blake's done.  Out.

Leah's, "I'm done with this" smile.

Annnnd. Blake's sleeping.
I cried a lot yesterday.

First because of my overwhelming sense of thankfulness and joy that seemed to be spilling out from my soul during church yesterday.  The tears streaming down my face were from down deep, as if they had been sitting there awhile...stagnant.  Just waiting for me to release if being cleansed.  And as they dropped down my cheeks onto my arms, I felt lighter and lighter.  Like I couldn't stand tall enough in my church pew...I felt light.  Airy.  Supernatural.

Easter.  He is risen.  I am free.
I posted on IG yesterday...

"Let me tell you..I stood in church this morning. Tears running down my face. I couldn't stand tall enough or reach high enough in my chair. Today I stood among rapists, adulterers, thiefs, addicts, cussers, gossipers, speed limit breakers, name-callers...all over the world. And praised #God. I am redeemed! I am no better or no worse than anyone else because I was condemned with my first sin. But not any longer. Not because of today. #Easter. I am #cleansed. #Forgiven. #Loved. And given life."
#HALLELUJAH #HeisLord #yearofthanks #praisegod #fitfam #christianathlete #homeonksrange #homegym #fitspiration #praise #easter

Then, we had to run to Walmart to get Jerad some shaving cream.  As we pulled into the parking lot a homeless man with a sign was sitting on the curb...with, most likely, his own friend, his dog.  And I drove past, said a prayer for him, and read his sign: "Please help. Need sleeping bag. Dog food. Hungry."
And my heart was moved again.  I felt lead to help him.  And was nearly brought to tears again when my first thought was affirmed...because both girls said "Mom, we need to help him.  Pleeeeease."

So we headed into Walmart and we got him what he needed.  And then they decided to get him some bread. Lunch meat. A jug of water. Some snacks.  Some bananas.  And my heart was again, overwhelmed.  Tears. More tears.  At my children's gentle prompting to help.  And their willingness to follow suit, in their innocence.  No judgment.  (as I fought back the nay-sayers in my head saying "tell him to get a job. Help himself.  His dog isn't important.  Why waste food on his animal when he needs food?  Someone else can help him...")

We walked back out and gave him his goods.  Pet his dog.  Talked to him awhile.  Looked into his eyes.  And we prayed for him as we left.

And then we got home.  Found out we had a house showing.  I was single-momming it today.  And already emotionally drained.  But we pushed onward.  Cleaned our house.  Got it all squeaky clean and headed outside to play.  I realized after awhile that one child didn't follow us outside.  So I went to check,, assuming he was watching his cartoons or playing with his toys.  I hear him in the bathroom and the panic sets in.  I could smell it before I saw it.  And I hit my knees when I saw the bathroom.  Mess. Everywhere. Him. Floor. Floormats. Wall.  Toilet.  Shoes. Socks.  Trashcan.  

And again, the tears hit.  I threw the mats in the laundry. Scrubbed the walls, floor, toilet. Threw my child in the shower.  Prayed for God's strength.  Knowing He saw me.  Knew my efforts.  Tried to cool down.  I already lost my cool on the girls for no reason, while caught up in the moment, and their ill-timed demands and questions bubbled me over the brim. 

Headed back outside hoping the floor mats would be clean and dried by the time of the showing.  And lit a candle.  Hoping to mask the smell.

I did some of my workout to try to diffuse.  While the kids played.  The laundry finished and I got it all back in place.  Done. And thankful for the time to clean it all up.

Not long after, Leah comes in the garage to tell me her brother stinks again.  No...No....No...No....

Seriously, no.  

I walk up to him and he breaks into tears grabbing his behind, knowing he made another mistake.  Why? WHY?  We haven't had this many accidents in 3 days than we have in the past 3 months.  WHAT IS GOING ON?  I checked his pants to confirm my suspicions.  Sure enough. Everywhere.  All over.  Deeming another bath.  
I took him downstairs to get him a quick shower.  As I'm undressing him...on the freshly cleaned floor mats...he begins to go AGAIN.  All over.  AGAIN.  Now with only 30 minutes to show time.

I tear up.  Again.  I drop to the floor.  And just sit.  Sit and cry.  Again.
I am done.  I can't take anymore.  Worn down. Finished.  Exhausted.
I have lost all my patience.  I am literally sitting in poop.  Crying.  How much worse can it get?  Right.

I eventually get it together.  Clean Blake in the shower again.  Tidy up the bathroom as best as I can.  And we leave.  I say a quick prayer for supernatural favor over the house.  For God's renewed strength because I am weak.  Worn.  Weary.

I am happy to say the rest of the day improved.  I am here today, to tell the story.  But wow.  What a day.

I will say this.  We had a wonderful Saturday.  Shown by the pictures posted.
If you only knew the task it was to get this picture.  With a timer.  The first few pics were a blur of me trying to run to the bench from the camera.  The others were when a gust of wind blew and the girl's and I's hair covered our faces.  One was Blake trying to crawl down to the ground.  I think I did about 10-15 sprints in sandals for this one shot.  1 shot.  Worth it though.  (only missing daddy)

And Autum is distracted.



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