Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Blake says..

Well, it's been a while since Mommy let me share.

So here's what has been going on lately around here:

I am getting really close to being able to keep up with that crazy-haired little chubby girl.  Who is slimming down, by the way, with all of this walking and chasing we have been doing together.  I get a crawling start at it, then I inchworm my legs in toward my hands and stand up, throw my hands up in the air, open my mouth really wide, stick my tongue out, and start stepping.  I can usually get 4-5 steps in before I bite the dust, or lunge into mommy or daddy's arms, or smack the coffee table with my chin (which I prefer not to do).  I sit down, clap my hands in pride, make sure that someone saw me take my steps, then get up and try again.  That is, until some parcel of food on the floor, left over from the meal before catches my eye, and it's all over after that.  That food cannot go uneaten in this house.  I tend to eat most things off of the floor, except for dried up, crunchy green beans...those just tend to lose their flavor after a few hours.  I leave those for chubby girl to eat, although she doesn't seem to like them either.  She just wipes them off of her tongue while I prefer to spit them out. 

I have also made some amazing discoveries.  I. HAVE. A. BELLY. BUTTON!  Can you believe that?  Little chubby girl is always walking around with her finger in her bellybutton and her shirt in her mouth.  I just thought it was a freaky girl-thing that she does, along with other activities I've yet to understand.  But when we were in the store the other day, that little gal lifted up mommy's shirt while she was talking to someone and stuck her finger in mommy's belly button!  At that point, it hit me.  If mommy has one of those, then maybe I do.  I began to research this topic.  That night while daddy was lying on the floor watching TV, I crawled over, lifted his shirt up, and what do you know....HE HAS A BELLY BUTTON TOO!  I stuck my finger in it just to be sure...for some reason, daddy just about jumped off the floor.  So if mommy, daddy, and chubby girl all have belly buttons, maybe I do too.  I started lifting up my shirt, looking for evidence of such a thing...on days when I don't eat too much, I can usually find it.  It is really kind of fun to stick your finger in there, although my belly button kind of sticks out so it isn't as lending to poking with a finger.  I prefer to lift up mommy and daddy's shirts and poke their's instead, it always leads to a shriek and jump effect.  Well, one day when I was lifting my shirt up to search for that devious little belly button, I realized my shirt will come all the way up and over my head!  If you pull one arm hard enough, you can even free up an arm and get the whole shirt off.  It is the most freeing experience.  Plus it doesn't get in the way of belly button searching.  I decided to practice this new talent in a recent wagon ride to take the big red-headed girl to school.  I quickly slipped off both socks and discarded one at the end of the driveway, the other a block away, then I began to work on my shirt...I got it up on my head and one arm out before mommy turned around and saw me...which was probably a good thing, I'm pretty sure it was stuck.  Then she raised her hands up and asked me where my socks were...heck if I know...I got rid of them.  They were just in the way.  Well, she went back to the front of the wagon and kept on pulling us along.  I figured if I couldn't take my clothes off, I could strip down the chubby girl.  She always seems hot and fussy.  I grabbed her foot to remove her shoe, I gave it a good tug, but nothing happened.  I tried again, and got it free...just as I was letting it set-sail behind me, mommy turned around and caught me in the act.  Darn!  Plus, little chubby girl began to squall about her shoe being gone forever...ohhhh, boo hoo hoo. 

Other than that, I still get really nervous when we don't follow our typical nightly routine.  If someone comes over close to bedtime, or we go somewhere, or do something different then I get really nervous and anxious.  I will cry and cry when it is time to go to sleep.  Mommy always wraps me up really tightly in a blanket and rocks me and sings to me until my breathing slows and my tears disappear.  I keep my eyes open as long as I can to make sure she is still there.  I usually sleep good at first and then about 2 am, I roll over and realize I'm not in her arms anymore...'OH NO!'  Did she leave me?  Is someone else coming to get me?  Will I have to go back to my old house?  Where did she go?  Where am I?  Then I let out a wail in panic, a screaming, cry.  Please someone.  Mommy!  Daddy!  Hello?  I'm scared.  I'm scared.  Then my heart begins to beat faster and faster, my breaths become shallow and quick, I cry louder between breaths.  The tears spill down my face.  And just when I can't take anymore, mommy swoops in and picks me up and talks to me in her soothing voice.  She rocks me and rubs my back with her hands...she always has her eyes closed which makes me think she is sleepy, but I don't care, I need her here.  I need her to reassure me that I will always be she and daddy's.  That she will never make me go back to my old house.  That she will never quit loving me.  I need her to squeeze me and hold me.  I begin to relax and breathe easier.  I can't control my whimpers that come out between breaths.  But I know that I will be okay now.  She just better not put me back in that crib...if my head hits that mattress, I WILL scream!  I think she realizes that now.  We sit in her room at the end of her bed and rock... and rock... all night long. I don't know if this feeling of anxiety and panic will ever go away...is this just a lingering side-effect I will have to deal with as a result of being an orphan?  Or is this just part of my transition into my new life?  Only time will tell.  All I know is this is where I want to be...forever. 



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