Monday, April 28, 2014


I took some time off from coaching and personal training the past 3 months.  I have begun to coach and personal train, again, as of late. 

And I love it.

And I forgot that.

I am energized by it...!

By encouraging others.
By helping and serving.
By advising.
By motivating.
By enlightening.
By changing.
By learning from...
By experiencing.
By inspiring.
By teaching.
By giving hope.

It is a passion.

For sure.

And it is ever-evolving.  I am always observing and paying attention to others around me who coach.  Picking up cues.  Picking up wisdom.  Knowledge.  Motivations.  Mistakes.  Insight.  Experience.

I have been coached by many different types of coaches over the years, in many different settings.  All who have shaped who I am as a person/coach/athlete today.

My dad was my first coach.  The first taste of what it is like to be a student.  To learn. He set th foundation for my ability to be coachable.  He taught me work ethic, heart and dedication.  Sacrifice.  Many hours were spent in our backyard.  He on his bucket behind home plate.  Me arguing with him behind the pitching mound, hour upon hour. Day after day.  At the time I was thinking it would only translate to becoming a better pitcher.  But now I see it was translating into a lifetime of being coached and taught, and how to learn. 

Then I was coached in music. Band, specifically.  I was coached by Mr. Phillips.  A man who taught me not to be intimidated by being a girl, in a guy dominated brass section.  He taught me confidence in an area I wasn't necessary confident in.  To own my identity.  And be successful, as a result.

I entered school sports shortly after.  I made a lifelong friend in my high school softball coach.  Coach Humphreys.  She was organized.  Thorough. Competitive.  And driven.  She taught me the importance of my spiritual identity.  To put Christ before my love of sport.  To live out what I know in my walk with God.  And to work harder than anyone else on the field to get where I want.  (And... also that all the yellow balls go in one bucket, and white ones go in another--do not mix them)

I earned a scholarship to play college sports.  I learned that college is the real deal in sports.  Every girl on my team was there to earn a position.  To win.  And was willing to outwork me for a chance to play.  I had a coach, Coach Hill, who was not afraid to tell me like it was.  To call me out on my weaknesses.  To push me, to a breaking point.  To make me tougher.  To teach me responsibility.  The concept of "team."  To make me better.  To teach me the fundamentals. To take time to break down the movements and relearn them.  To break bad habits.  To become a 'bulldog', emotionless on the mound.  To make big plays.  To be a leader.  To create the option for me to play for 4 years, if I wanted. To create memories I will treasure for a lifetime.  To make an opportunity for me to form friendships I consider near and dear.

After college, I did my own thing, for a long time.  Coaching myself.  Pushing myself.  Being motivated by the next big thing in fitness.  1/2 marathons. Full marathons. Triathlons. Duathlons. Weightlifting.  CrossFit.

I was coached in my personal life for a few years by Stephen and Mary K. who I would consider most crucial as spiritual coaches.  Coaching life.  They taught me to love first.  To be real.  To not fear vulnerability.  To desire a real relationship with Christ and others.  That I need a community.  To step out in faith.  That life is messy.  And that's ok.  To own it and admit it.  It's real.

And then I was coached in CrossFit.  Under the guidance of Sarah and Chad.  Chad shared his vast knowledge of technicalities, specific details, and breakdowns of weightlifting movements.  He communicated his years of experience in programming for athletes...the why's, how's, and what for's...he also taught me how to help people believe in themselves, and therefore be their true selves.  Confident. And remain so.  Also, empowerment.  How to empower others.  On good days and bad. Also perspective.  And, Sarah taught me much more outside of the gym than in.  Things of value. Priority.  Importance. Balance.  She lived out how to be a mom and wife, college student, home school teacher, and full-time business owner/coach, and attentive friend to her circle of friends, all the while still competing and working out day to day.  She proved it can be done.  And I know it isn't easy.  She inspired me to be able to balance it all, and to still reach my goals, and not be afraid to try.

And most recently and currently.  Katie.  I have moved on to a new CrossFit coach by joining the RxBound training team.  A step of faith, I am so glad I took.  With perfect timing.  She is selfless.  And crazy knowledgeable about programming and lifting technique and volume and CrossFit and cross training. She knows what she is doing.  Has proven it.  And has this way of encouraging me but also teaching me, in a way that doesn't leave me feeling frustrated.  Or discouraged.  She uses words and communicates with hope, and encouragement.  Which translates into excitement on my part.  She makes me a believer!  In myself, again.  In my abilities.  Again.  In my goals.  Maybe, just maybe I can really do this!  She pushes me physically more than I've ever been pushed.  Because of this.  Because of the goals she has for me.  And I have for me. 

All these characteristics, personalities, experiences have shaped me into who I am as a coach today.  Good and bad.  There is always room to improve.  To become more well-rounded.  To see outside the box.  To be open-minded.  To grow.

Finally, all of my previous and current clients, friends, and class participants.  I probably have learned most effectively through my experiences coaching and personal training.  The lessons are endless to be learned.  Which is maybe what energizes me most about coaching.  The ability to learn.  And grow. And become better through my interactions with people.

My community.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Mom Tantrums

The past few days have unfolded themselves into moments that make me want to throw a fit.  A full-on toddler tantrum.  I am beginning to wonder why I correct my kids from throwing fits.  At what point did it become socially unacceptable to let your emotions fly.  Maybe our kids are onto something with getting it all out in one big physical/emotional fit.  Heck, I know there are many days where I just want to climb down and join in the disgusted rage my toddlers display.  You know, to go so far as...

Cross my hands across my chest, stomp my feet, and say "NO!"
Especially when I get everyone's meal's dished up, cups filled, bibs on, spills dried up, and I sit down myself to bite into my warm cooked meal, the forks almost to my mouth...AND a certain red-head next to me says, "I ate all my food, can I have something else for seconds....pleeeease....I'm still hungry... pleeeease??"

Or go limp as a noodle and fall to the floor, then prop myself up on my arms and knees, until my butt sticks up in the air, and I moan, LOUDLY.
Especially when I just finish folding 6 loads of laundry, have it all neatly piled up in each basket to go to each kid's room...and I leave the room for 10 seconds, only to return to see that Blake and Autum have dumped all the baskets out into one big pile in the center of the living room and are jumping from the top of the empty baskets into the soft, warm mound of now, unfolded clothes in the middle. 

Or maybe, just bend at the waist, plop on the floor on my butt, then throw my head back and hit the floor or whatever toy/shoe/furniture is lying close enough to hit.
Especially when Leah gets mad at Jerad, jumps onto the chair in front of him and calls him a "dick-mouth!"  And laughs and laughs because that is the new nickname she has for him...she just made it up, it has a nice ring to's what all the kids call each other these days...UGH...

Maybe just yell, scrunch my face up, and stomp my feet rapidly like the floor is on fire, all the while holding my breath.
When I get all 3 kids in the van, hurriedly, to get to work, and a certain little girl decides she has to potty and a certain little boy loads his drawers with his morning BM.  And we have a Chinese fire drill back into the house. 

Or just moan, and whine, and make these noises that come out of my nose over and over...
When the kids have swim lessons in an hour and Autum decides to use the last swim diaper in the house, and in the town (I later find out) for her baby...and rips it to shreds trying to shrink it up to fit her babies bum...

And I would be lying if I said I hadn't tried each one of these, at some point in my mothering skills...

2014 Easter

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Mom-Lete

I remember when I was a young bride, without kids, competing in a lot of running races and triathlons, thinking that there were never many women in the age group from 30-35...

I always assumed it was because most were up to their hips in children, and mothering, and nurturing and giving of themselves, fully.  I always used to say I would never allow myself to let it all go.  To give up my body.  To give up my competitiveness.  To give up my goals.  To give up my hobbies.  To give up my athleticism.  To sacrifice everything for my kids...

Now, don't get me wrong...I also said I'd never wipe my own kid's nose with my own sleeve...wrong.
And I would never let my kids "be those kids" at the grocery store.
And that my kids would never "talk back to me that way"...
Ha. Ha. Ha.
So, yeah, once you are a parent, yourself, it all changes, and everything you said before is thrown in your face...

Obviously I love my kids and husband.  Obviously I would do anything for them.
 I refuse to give up my goals, my dreams, and myself just because I have 3 kids.  2 of which have special needs...

I am at every program my kid's perform in.  I drive them to all their medical and therapy appointments.  I am there to kiss the ouchies.  To cheer on their efforts at gymnastics practice.  To discipline the wrongdoing.  To correct.  To tuck into bed.   To play hide and seek.

But I am also up at 5 am, sweating out a cardio session in my home gym.  I use naptime's to finish off my strength sessions for the day.  I utilize childcare at the YMCA for an hour to workout with other people who can push me.  I will be back in my garage later at night if I still have a few skills to work on.  I will include my kids in my workout.  We practice counting.  We practice balance.  We problem-solve. 

I am an athlete too.

I want to be competitive.  I want to be stronger.  I want to get to the next level.  I want to reach my goals.  And I will get there.

What you won't find me doing is sitting in on a mom's coffee hour 2 mornings a week.  Or partying til wee hours of the morning on a Saturday night. Belonging to a club. Or partaking in social events around town each week.  Or hosting sales parties at my house.  Or heading up the bake sale at the school.  Or running for PTO.  Or slaving away over the stove to make the best dish at the church potluck. 

And my house might not be clutter-free.  And my yard may not be weedless.  And my dishes may have spots on them.
But that is where I sacrifice my time. 
And I'm okay with that, most days.

Every so often the guilt slips in and I feel like I am not 'doing' enough, especially compared to the next mom.  Or the days get away from me and I don't get it all in.  Or a quick exercise session is interrupted numerous times by trips to the potty inside, or snack breaks, or carpool trips to sports practice or playdate's, and I get frustrated. And I may not have the most friends, especially ones who I understand my dedication.

But I remind myself I have goals.  Dreams I have chosen to sacrifice for in order to achieve.  And then all is okay again.  I just do what I can with the time I have.  I plan ahead. I prioritize.  I made decisions.

And I truly believe that I become a better mom, as I become a better athlete.  It is a parallel universe. 

It can be done.  Being a mom and a competitive athlete. 
And I plan to prove it.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

How We Roll...

Lately I have caught myself just laughing...kinda that crazy laugh, cause what else can you do?

Like for example, today at church...I walked to one end of the building to get Leah from Children's Church...was stopped to chat a few...I turn around to look for Leah who has disappeared.  Completely.  A few thoughts run through my head...she's in the parking lot waiting to get in the van.  She went back into her classroom because she has no patience for me and chatting.  She went to get Blake and Autum from the nursery.  That's it! I took a quick gander in the parking lot on my way back to the other side of the church building...don't see her.  So I pick up speed. I get to the nursery end and see her walking toward the doors with both 'little's' at her feet....NO!  I yell at her to stop.  I try to contain my adrenaline from not knowing where she visualizing what catastrophe could have happened if she made it out to the parking lot with both 'littles" as I shake my head and inform her she is NOT to get them out of the nursery by herself.  That is MY job.  Only.  I then inform the nursery worker that she is not to let Leah get them out, again.  I then, realize, I have to pee.  I had been holding it for the entire service.  Now I have to take all 3 into a miniature stall with me...oh here we go!  I lock the door, herd them all around me.  And inform them not to touch anything...which goes in one ear and out the other.  Blake begins flipping the trashcan lid up and down...Autum tries to unlock the door, and Leah bends over to look under the stall door because she is pretty sure her teacher is in the adjoining stall....AHHHH!!!  I do my deed, and hurriedly push them out the stall door.  I decide we should all wash our hands, avoid germs.  I wash mine.  Leah washes hers.  I pick up Autum to wash hers.  Put her down.  Pick up Blake to wash his...he proceeds to smash his palm up against the top of the faucet, spraying anything and everything within 10 feet of us.  Including the elderly lady washing her hands at the next sink.  I have water dripping down my face, both arms, the mirror, Blake is soaked...and cackling...loving his new found mess-making skill.  As I'm trying to dry him off, Autum grows impatient waiting for me to get her a paper towel, so she dries her face and hands on the back of my dress.  Then lifts my dress up and slaps me on the butt with both hands!  I want to cry...but just laugh.  And laugh.  And laugh.  The lady next to me begins laughing.  And laughing.  And then go on our separate ways.

Before church was much the same..I drop Blake and Autum off at nursery...Autum decides she wants to go into the sanctuary and sing with Leah and I, then I'll bring her back to the nursery.  Which is fine. She does that a lot.  We go in and sit down.  We get shoved to the middle of the aisle, which already leaves me in panic as I try to decide which side of the pew will be better to carry her out of when the time comes...who will be more accommodating to our restlessness.  We sit down, sing one song, and she's announces she is done.   "I want to go play now.  I want to see Blake, Mommy!  Now.  Pleeeease!" I inform her we just got sat down.  We have a few more songs to sing and then we'll go.  Autum goes from 0 to 60 fuming mad...could be part of that 3-year old inability to be patient...but this sets her off.  She proceeds to yell during announcements, "I want to go!  I am tired of waiting to see JESUS!!!!!"  Hmmm....this opens many thought processes in my mind.  Both literally and physically.  Note to self.  I'll spend some time processing that later.  (After my face drains red.) I didn't even think, but did execute my escape, exactly as I had planned it in my mind, only moments before.  Good to know.  So as I'm walking back into the sanctuary, I begin laughing.  Just giggling.  And can't stop.  Luckily I got it under control, just short of snorting.

I woke up bright and early and did a great olympic lifting workout before the kids woke up.  It took a few hours but felt awesome.  I love swinging a bar around.  Something so freeing and stress-relieving about it.  I come back inside and find Autum and Leah snuggled up on the couch, watching cartoons (that I always turn on as I walk out the door each morning to workout--to give me at least 20 more minutes before they invade my solitude).   Leahs says, "Was it thundering last night?"  I say, no. "Was someone shooting at the house?"  I say, no.  " was just you lifting weights, then."
Ha. Ha. Ha.  Yes, honey, yes it was! :)

Opening a bag of fruit loops...snacking on them while waiting for breakfast.  "Mom, how much protein do these have in them?  I need to load up before I workout." (quote, Leah)

Oh man, we've got some work to do in the nutrition area.  But great try!

I got a new pre-workout powder mix that I've been trying out.  Nutriforce.  Love it so far. (btw) And I filled a cup with only the powder the other morning...Autum proceeds to pull it off the counter over her head and spills it all over her face...I mean, completely covers her face.  She looks at me and all I can see are her eye balls...her hair, eyelashes and cheeks are covered in red powder.  She cries and screams a second...then begins licking it...realizes she likes it and goes to town licking her face, her arms, her shirt, her hands...intermittently saying, "yummmm....sugar......yummmmm....sugar!"  Well, I'll just tell you now...that stuff is effective for energy boosts in children too... and now every morning she asks for more "sugar."

Spent a few hours at the YMCA pool yesterday morning.

In and out, in and out...all he did the entire time.  And fell asleep in a laundry basket that afternoon.

Waiting in line to dry their hair after showering.

Autum forgot a shirt, and only brought this she rocked the belly button looked all through Dillon's after swimming. least it's still cute!

Friday, April 4, 2014

The Thing about Night Shift

So...I've had the pleasure to experience the dreaded 4 nights of night shift Jerad has to work about 3 times now.  There are some observations I have made based on consistent experiences when Jerad is away at night and sleeps through the day (or attempts too)

1) The wine flows more freely from about 8:30 to 10 pm...and my craving to have it begins about 3:30 pm...when the school bell rings..
Jerad has found a honey hole at Marion Reservoir and our freezer is full of white bass.

2) I can wear my holey sweat pants and fuzzy red socks and forget to brush my teeth...and not care.

 3) The bed is about 10 degrees cooler without another body in it at night..

4) Every sound in the house after about 10 pm, is magnified, and triggers a funnel of scenarios I could play out in my will I fight him off?  Kick him in the crotch or poke his eyes out?  will all the kids fit under the bed?  baseball bat or gun? how fast can I really run?  which neighbor's door will I pound on?

The kids and I ran the "Miles of Smiles for Mija" race this past weekend. We were reminded of how short life is and to take advantage of every moment together.  Even if it IS dragging your oldest the last 1/4 mile of a 1/2 mile race because she swore her legs were falling off...
Autum signed up for the kids race but started crying as soon as the gun went off and never finished.  This is the face I got the whole entire day...but she was pretty excited about the colored powder we threw up in the air before taking off.
5) These are the only 4 nights I hear Blake up moaning and banging his head on his crib...3 am...every morning, like clockwork. 

We celebrated "International Down Syndrome Day" March 21. (3/21)
6) I have to make pee a lot more during the night...could be the wine...
Autum got her hair cut off.  A LOT. I'm tired of screamfest 2000 every morning trying to rid her head of rats.  She told the hair dresser she didn't need to wash her hair because we already did "last year"...ha!  We are still learning the meaning of "yesterday" "tomorrow" "last year" "last week"....

7) I stay up way to stinkin' late...

8) I can watch something on TV besides the Outdoor Channel, History Channel, or Discovery.

9) Autum's screams can probably break glass...and will wake up the neighbors...

10) It is the only mornings Blake throws the wooden toy box lid down the stairs, over and over and over...

11)  Leah ringing the doorbell 10 times in a matter of minutes, because she is getting impatient with my slow process of getting both 'littles' out the door dressed with non-poopy pants for her 8 am school bell...will SEND ME OVER THE EDGE!  I think it makes me yell something like, "ARE YOU CRAZY?? You are NOT going to gymnastics tonight, not having a friend over this weekend, are going to have to do twice the chores as normal when you get home if YOU just woke your DADDY UP!!!!"

12)  I do a lot of apologizing and making up for my stress levels that are through the roof...

13) Find that our meals consist of: popcorn, carrots, orange juice, apples and peanut butter, almond ice cream, chips, a tortilla here a slice of bread there, PB&J, cheese stick...

14) "FROZEN" is a great babysitter when you need a shower.

15) I can NO longer give all 3 kids a bath at the same time.  Too many questions about things I don't want to discuss without their daddy home.  Leah still wants to know why Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Kate's girl cows don't get married to the bulls before they have calves and why there are so many mommy cows and only a few daddy's....

16) I am not good about planning ahead with what I'm going to wear for the next day's clothes.  I have to lay out workout clothes and the clothes I'll be wearing for the day....the night before...and I ALWAYS forget if Autum tells you "mommy isn't wearing any panties"....or "mommy is wearing the same outfit she wore yesterday" you'll know why...Jerads on nights..

17) I only lock the chain on the door and lock Jerad out on his 4 nights...every other night the van doors are unlocked, the back gate unlocked, the garage door is wide open...

18) The kids only want to sing Annie or Frozen at the top of their lungs or practice the heel stomp shuffle line dance during these days their daddy wants to sleep...

19) Packages are only delivered on these days...(which equates to abnormal doorbell ringing--after I make sure it isn't Leah)

20) Autum can't find her matching shoes, so throws her other shoes against the wall we share with her bedroom, while frantically searching and crying loudly..."I caaaaaaannnnnnnt fiiiiiiiiiiind myyyyyyyyyyyyyy shoooooooooooooooooooooooes!" MOM!!!!!

21) and finally...I realize how much I love my husband!  (and need him)

This is Autum's chore list. Leah made her.

This is Leah's chore list.  I made her.  Leah made Autum a chore list-based off the chores I have her do weekly-- and offered to pay her a penny out of every $1 Leah earns each week...because Leah is "so stinking tired of having to work all day."  Smart kid. I foresee her future in management and business. :)  Leah wakes every morning and asks Autum if she has done her chores for the day...I'm still convincing Leah that Autum putting on deodorant and brushing her own teeth does NOT count for Leah...
March was the CrossFit I spent a lot of extra time working out in our garage...and Blake began his potty training process as well.  This is how the two events collided.  You gotta do, what you gotta do.