Thursday, February 21, 2013

Short Stories from the Woods Household

Oh I swear just last night our house had more excitement than Allen Fieldhouse against OSU in 2 overtimes.  Autum decided to shove the end of a baby carrot up her nose after doctor's offices are closed on a night we are to get 12" of snow...and so it began.  Jerad had more tricks to try than probably should have been allowed  But we first tried to extract it with tweezers.  Then we used nose spray and tried to get it to run out. Then we made the poor girl sniff some pepper to induce a sneeze, which worked get her to sneeze, but no carrot.  By now she was starting to get pretty upset and angry with us, so we put her in the bathtub with her goggles and and hoped she would maybe get it out herself by dunking her head in the water.  Buuuuuut, nothing.

When all our ideas failed, we hit up Google.
Oh my gosh.  We found a suggestion of sucking the object out of a child's nose with the vacuum cleaner!!!  And we almost came near trying it.  But I called my aunt instead, who deals with this stuff daily, as an RN at Children's Mercy Outpatient Clinic.  So suggested we get a straw and put it in the nostril with nothing in it...then cover her mouth (at this point we have her swaddled in a blanket) Jerad drew the short straw and got to do the blowing while I covered her mouth and tried to keep her calm.  We sat her up on the counter and gave it a whirl.  First try, nothing.  The straw got a kink in it.  So we stepped back, we reassured her, got back into position and tried again.  This time was a success!!! That carrot blew out of there like a rocket and stuck to my arm...hahahah!! Then Jerad did a toe touch, cheerleading move in the kitchen and yelled "we don't have to pay $500 for an emergency room visit!  YAY!!!"

Whew. What an evening.

And only the night before, Leah informs me that she had a talk with the head lunch lady at her school during her lunch break.  She said, "Mom, the lunch lady told me to tell you that the school is really trying to make healthier lunches for us kids!"

 I said, "whooooaa....wait a minute.  what??" "What in the world did you say to her??"

She said, "weeeeellll, I told her that you said I have to take my lunch box everyday because the school lunches are really nasty and unhealthy!"

*silence*  Then Jerad busts into laughter, while my head reels. 

"WHAT??" I said. "I said YOU have to take your lunch because you have food allergies to wheat and dairy, Leah.  And we try to avoid processed foods....not that is is NASTY." I said, "sometimes things we talk about at home don't need to be shared with everyone else..."  I say this as I'm trying to decide what to do I call the school and clarify?  or do I just let it go?

I chose to go with the latter, as Jerad continued to die laughing, while shaking his head.
I should know this by now....I have the most honest, literal child...

 We got to talking about babies the other day with Leah because several friends and family members are having babies this spring.  She was asking about what they look like when they are born and if they cry a lot, etc.  And I got to laughing because it reminded me of when we were awaiting Leah's arrival, our first child.  And of course, Jerad and I both had lots of questions.  One in particular always makes me laugh....
Jerad said "Now, Leah won't be able to open her eyes for the first 6 weeks, right?" :)

Leah is all into cheerleading these days as well.  And the effects have started to trickle down to her little brother and sister.  Autum and Blake both like to swing the pom pom's around, jumping and kicking their feet, and shouting out words no one can seem to translate...but boy, do they have spirit!  We get on our skirts and headbands and sparkly cheer shoes, followed up with big hair bows!  Well, earlier this week, in full cheerleading apparel, Leah was leading them in a cheer and was randomly hollering out letters for the little ones to repeat...on this particular night I was preparing dinner and overheard this from the living room..."Go! Teeeeam! Go! U-T-E-R-UUUUUUU-S!! Whew! Go!"  And Blake and Autum followed it up with a clap and a kick!  Hahaha...I could not stop laughing, still can't when I think about it...

Valentine's are sugared up by 8 am when school starts.  Jerad is eating his chocolate bar we got him for a gift.  He is getting ready to run out the door to work.  And Leah says "Dad you have something in your teeth!" So of course Jerad makes it worse by covering the whole front of his mouth with chocolate and running over and leaving a big sloppy kiss on Leah's cheek smothering her in chocolate.  She starts laughing and waves at him as he leaves.  Then she says "Bye Mr. Tongue-Y! I can't wait to go to school and tell everyone you kissed me with your tongue!!"  Jerad literally dropped his lunch box on the floor before his face went white as a sheet...hahahaha, I was crying I was laughing so hard by this point.  I couldn't wait to hear him help clarify what he did and what she was going to say he did....I told him I'd refer the SRS call to him later that day when I received it!


  1. It's honesty in a 3-year-old; rudeness & disrespectful behavior in a school-age child. You are forming the foundation of her teenage years right now. Sounds to me like you need to stop laughing when she is being "honest" with people and teach her to keep quiet if her words are going to be hurtful or rude. Just sayin....

  2. Thank you anonymous...which is why I wrote that we discussed what we talk about at school and at home, believe me rude and disrespectful behavior is the last thing I want coming from my children's mouths, this was a very teachable moment and we made sure she learned from did we all--and is why I pray for my kids to learn these behaviors now, while in the formative years...but this blog is something I use to jot down memories and it was just one of many things I want to be able to look back on when I'm old.