Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Questions I Get

Anytime we are in public I always feel eyes scanning my children as we pass by, first people are drawn to Leah's red hair, then they scan to Autum usually because she is screaming or I'm holding her, and then they glance at Blake...which is usually followed by another glance.  Like they notice he appears 'different' but aren't quite sure...sometimes the conversation ends there...I rarely get a glance unless I'm wearing my knee-high neon pink socks or something. 
Wacky Sock Day for Leah, just another day of work for me! :)

..which is fine.

Other times it turns into "where does she get her red hair?" (after observing Jerad and I neither one sport the ginger top) Or "where does he get his arm?" (after watching Blake clear out the groceries in the back of the basket...leaving a trail throughout the entire store)  Or "she must like to eat!" (referring to Autum's little chubbies) and also "she's got some lungs!"  And finally, "how did you end up with 3 kids with entirely different hair colors?"

Most often I hear "are they twins?" This is where my dilemma lies...I usually say, "No, they are 11 months apart."  This will get some eyebrow raises and a "you are busy, aren't you?"  Not sure what they are referring too at this point... :)  Sometimes I just leave it at that...and that is what I prefer to do.  I hate having to distinguish that "we adopted him"...."the girls are homegrown" every time I'm asked this question.  I don't like this clarification to become his identity, as if he is not part of our family completely.  Yet, sometimes talking about him being adopted opens the doors to share about our journey, how God placed this little man on our hearts, and for them to hear about his happy ending.  So I always have an argument in my head with how to answer this common question.

Therefore my solution is to say "yes, they are twins!" 

Another dilemma I have is whether or not to help people understand that Blake has Down Syndrome.  I always feel like people know he has a diagnosis of some sort, yet are unsure how to ask, whether it's appropriate to ask, or what to ask.  First of all, I have NO problem with someone asking me about him.  In fact, I LOVE to brag about his progress, what my hopes and dreams are for him, and what he means to me now.  I honestly feel more awkward with the silence and staring. 

Also, in my experience with working with adults with special needs, I have learned that asking "what is his/her diagnosis?" is an appropriate and proper way to ask about a person.  I have also learned that many times you can ask him/her, especially if he/she has Down Syndrome, and he/she will be thrilled to tell you about himself.  Don't talk over him/her as if he/she isn't in the room.  Many have very interesting stories and love the attention.  I can't wait for Blake to share his story someday.  So be ready to ask him!

 Here is a clip of some of my clients during one of our exercise sessions.  You can view more at

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