Monday, January 23, 2012

That Thing You Do

Of all the things I have loved about our adoption of Blake, including his cute little kissable face I get to squeeze each morning, is probably my husband.  In fact, this is probably the one thing I love most about all of our kids, now that I think of it. 

We are not the PDA, make you gag, get a room kind of lovey-dovey couple.
You won't hear me calling him Lover Boy.  Or him calling me Sweet Pea.
We are not an extravagant, over the top, type of couple.

We got married young.  We had no idea what our future would hold, but we had high hopes and endless dreams.  We were adventurous and still are.  We spend our time together kayaking, hiking, fishing, camping, four-wheeling, boating, white water rafting, etc.  Those used to be the things I loved about Jerad most, was the adventurous times we shared and mutually enjoyed. 

That was until we had our kids.

I often catch myself looking at our children and looking at Jerad. I just smile thinking that we made these little kiddos together.  We did this.  It gives me this feeling of fullness and warmth inside...it fills my cup.  Now don't get me wrong, there are days when Leah gets her head-shaking, sassy talk, naughty self in a bind and she suddenly becomes HIS CHILD!  But usually, my emotions are filled with joy.

Nothing makes me love my husband more than watching him interact with our children.  Nothing makes me love him more than when he walks in the back door after work and all 3 children screech in excitement as they run up to him with open arms anxiously awaiting a bear hug. Now don't get me wrong, there are days Jerad is greeted in less than desirable ways, like when Leah's in her room throwing a fit, Autum is banging on the fridge door screaming for more chocolate chips, and Blake's in his high chair yelling for more snacks.

Nothing makes me love him more than when he makes sure to spend time with each child.  Like when he scoops up Autum and tickles her little chin, and she belly laughs so hard, her pacifier pops out.  Or when he gets Leah in a wrestling hold and tickles her thighs so much that she kicks and screams that she is going to pee her pants.  Or when he throws Blake so high in the air and he gets to coughing because he is giggling so hard in excitement. 

Nothing makes me love him more than when he observes that I need a break.  When he encourages me to get out of the house.  When he notices, even before I do, that I need some 'me' time.  And lately these days have become more needed.  When he says "what do you need me to do?" My response is usually "let's see, where do I start?"  When he sometimes tells me to stay in bed and he'll go tend to the babies when they are up multiple times in a night.  When I am in a 'poor-me' attitude and he reminds me that we are in this together. 

But what I absolutely, positively, love the most is my husband's gigantic heart.  He likes to pretend he is an outdoor manly man who likes to hunt and fish.  And I'll continue to let him put on this front, as long as I continue to get glimpses of his big 'ol heart. A heart that loves me and my ratty old sweatpants and obsession with working out.  A heart that puts up with my head in the clouds' ideas.  A heart that loves our kids.  A heart that was burdened by orphans.  A heart that was softened to poverty.  A heart that recognizes our selfish ways. A heart that wants to change.  A heart that hurts for what makes Christ's heart hurt.  A heart that burdens to help others.

This adoption has brought us closer in so many, probably unspoken ways.  I can hardly contain myself when I  think about how much Jerad has grown to love Blake.  How he has completely opened his heart to this little boy.  How he has never looked back upon our decision to make him ours.  How he treats him just like our girls.  How he has big hopes and dreams for Blake's future.  How he is concerned with what I dress him in.  How he makes sure Blake uses the blue towels, not pink ones after a bath.  How he doesn't use a princess pacifier.  How he has his own cozy coupe truck.  How he has his own camouflage.  How he verbalizes all the things he and Blake will be able to do together in another year or so.

How he is wrapped around Blake's finger in only 3 month's time.
And probably by how much Blake loves Jerad.

Ahhh, just makes me smile thinking about it.  I do not need fancy jewelry, big gifts, or luxurious vacations (although it would be nice sometime in the future) to feel Jerad's love.  I just need to see a little boy with Down Syndrome crawl over to his daddy, wrap his arms around his neck, and give a drool-filled, tongue out kiss on his cheek to be reminded of why I married this man nearly 8 years ago.

1 comment:

  1. God bless you & your precious family!

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