Sunday, December 14, 2014

When Showing a House...

So...in our marriage, Jerad and I have moved 7 times...we kind of have a method to our madness in prepping a house to show.  We always joke we don't fix up the house we are living in until we are ready to sell it.  Right when we get it exactly how we imagined having it when we bought it....we sell it.  Every. Single. Time.  We are blessed in that Jerad can do most of the handiwork himself...plumbing, heating, cooling, electric, and woodwork.  As well as a few other tricks he's taught himself through our various moving adventures.

As word has traveled around like lightning...in this town, quite possibly even faster than when we lived in a smaller town...there is a for sale sign in our front yard.  Yes, we are moving.  To answer those questions.  As to where...not sure yet.  But we'd like to be back in the country.  Our kids need space.  I need quiet and less lights.  And a big barn for my home gym. :)

Anyway, we have shown the house a handful of times now and the kids are starting to catch onto our house prep tricks.  So if you come view our home...this is what you will need to know ahead of time...

1) We probably ate the meal before on paper plates and plastic...in fact Leah just asked me the other day if she should wash her plastic fork to use it again for her breakfast the next day...but she had already eaten off it a few times and a tine was missing...should she throw it away yet?

2) If you look in Autum's closet and see a whole wad of Kleenex wrapped up with wrapping paper...it's not trash.  TRUST ME...it is NOT trash.  Those are her Christmas presents...and a battle I chose to overlook after the first scream fest we had when I accidentally threw it away...

3)  The top drawer of my dresser could contain anything ranging from: baseball cards, socks, panties, hair bows, headbands, a shoe, a gun case, medicine, bills, a toy truck, a marble, 2 lego's, a frizz of string I pulled off the carpet vacuuming, a hairbrush, nail polish, 2 pennies, a shirt, and a cup...and whatever else I may have snatched up last minute on our way out the door...

4) Autum's top drawer may contain all of the same items, but according to her, that is on purpose...

5) ...and all these same items may be found thrown across Leah's floor...on any given day....but, before a house showing they are thrown under her bed...or behind her door...depending how mad I am that she still hasn't cleaned her room 5 minutes before we are to leave...so be careful when entering...

6) If you walk upstairs and smell strawberry fields of summer and see glitter flying in the sunlight...it is because someone decided to go #2 in the toilet...and it smells AWFUL...and the solution "the one who dealt it" comes up with is to run around the upstairs spraying her new full body, cheerleading specific, glitter bonanza, strawberry super duper spray all over...EVERYTHING.  (Jerad hopes the glitter wears off his work boots by morning)

7) Along these same lines the blame game begins for who left the brown streaks in the toilet I JUST cleaned...and who should have to clean it this time...with their toothbrush..

8)  If it smells like apple pie when you walk in...trust me it's a candle...if I really baked a pie it would smell like burnt bread and smoke would infiltrate the first floor, followed up by a large black hockey puck hidden in the oven...

9)  There might or might not be remnants of laundry thrown under the blanket lying across our ottoman in the living room...and I may have thrown a load of laundry already dried back into the dryer because I ran out of time to fold it before we had to leave.

10) Blake really does sleep in a tent.  Just to throw that out there.  He sleeps in a bed tent, on the futon...wrapped in blankets on top a heating blanket.  I'd love to hear the remarks of people upon walking into our basement and seeing his big old sleeping mess...hey, it works for us.

11) I vacuum and mop more during house showing times than I probably do all the rest of the year combined...just sayin'...Walmart sees a rise in my purchase of mop pads during this time as well...along with feather dusters and spray.

12)  My towels only match in the bathroom during house showing times...on non-showing days you are lucky to find one towel...let alone one that matches the rest of the set..heck, the kids may even share the same towel for their baths before I indulge that Blake had a huge booger mess (after swimming under the bath water for 10 minutes) before he got out and I dried him off with the towel Leah was currently wiping herself down with...plus, when you get out of the shower freezing cold, you don't care if its Hello Kitty, Superman or Princess Sofia greeting you on the hook...you take what you can get to stave off the chill.

13) We have great neighbors.  Trust me, if they put up with me yelling out the backdoor at my kids to get in the house in full on mom mode anger...or for me running around the cul de sac with a sandbag on my back at weird hours of the day, or me slamming weights at 5 AM every morning, as well as indulge in every idea/conversation or suggestion Leah has for them at every glimpse she has of them going in or coming out their front door....without blinking an eye...they are gonna be great for you...we have worn them in.

14) If in the garage, around my workout equipment, don't touch my knee sleeves...just trust me on that one...

So those are a few hints at what to expect.  Happy house hunting. :)
PS--There may also be a few extra bottles of alcohol present in the fridge or cabinet during this time as well...




No comments:

Post a Comment