Thursday, May 29, 2014

Life from this View

Life at this point,

...looks something like this... (and I'm writing this for future reference)
There are at least 5 pairs of muddy shoes sitting on my back deck...consisting of flip flops, tennis shoes, rain boots, water shoes, and sandals (to be worn to church, only...ya right!)...

I have at least 3 red solo cups full of water containing dandelion flowers, roses from the front flower bed, and some type of grass project Blake made at school I'm supposed to keep alive.  And only recently has Leah added a cup full of flower petals from the neighbors flower garden floating in water...a gift for me actually.  And I've almost regifted it 3 times today picking it up to take a drink of my tea before realizing it was not my tea.

My front porch contains a worn to threads welcome mat, a mailbox with 2 towels hanging off of it from the pool trip today, along with 3-4 stinch filled bags of poopy diapers I'm too lazy to walk out to the trash dumpster.  I've only sling shotted one bag at just the right distance to land in front of the dumpster...other attempts I failed miserably, hitting the van, the side of the house and even knocked over a now I leave them attract flies and give the mailman a gag.

My vacuum filter contains hundreds of stick on earrings and fake fingernails...a dozen hair rubber bands....a few hundred cheerios and raisins...and grass clippings and mud...from every bit of our yard.

More than likely the front door, back door, or garage door is swung wide open as a mindless child hurriedly busted through it on a mission for Jerad puts it, "cooling the outdoors."

There is half-naked family of baby dolls strewn across my living room floor...some hanging halfway out of a shopping cart or half smashed under the rocking chair, and one staring creepily from the high chair it was abandoned in earlier in the day.

None of our paperback books have covers on Blake has taken it upon himself to tear them all off.

The kitchen floor has two distinct sticky circles around both booster chairs at the dining room table.  Paired with crumbs from chips, crackers, pretzels, popcorn, discarded peas, sticky rice, and chicken pieces.

You can follow a trail of clothes to Autum's room, as she has made her way through half of her closet in her multiple outfit changes during the day.  Tangled panties, 2-3 swim suits, pink sparkly shoes, gymnastic leotard, sundresses, a random snow boot, another pair of Dora panties, leopard print socks, and a stocking hat.

All the lights will be on all the bedrooms, both lights in the bathrooms, all the closet lights, the laundry room light and possibly even the garage light--wherever Leah has been looking for something she has to have.

Most likely Despicable Me 2 or Frozen will be in the DVD player, ready to be played at the push of a remote button and pending a quick moment I need to take a shower.

There are 2 full laundry baskets needing to be folded, containing 75% of Leah's clothes that were never dirty but that she didn't want to put away from the last laundry day and just tossed in her dirty clothes hamper.

Bug spray and sunscreen are the 2 mainstays in my purse this time of year...

The whole entire house smells of whatever body spray Leah decided to douse herself with at any given moment at any point of day...for whatever reason, our insisting that 1 spray is plenty does not sink in for her...

Our pantry contains boxes and boxes of fruit snacks, packages of gum, 1/2 unwrapped, opened boxes of raisins, nibbled on apples, half peeled bananas, spilled cereal...

...and don't even think about opening our tupperware cabinet...

Hair dressing school opens for business at random times of the day, and I always have to be the 'dummy.'...last night it took me 20 minutes to untangle and untie all the clips and rubberbands Leah put in my hair before bed...

We go through tubes and tubes of toothpaste because I"m most certain Blake and Autum eat more of it than they actually brush with...and all the toothbrush bristles are blue and hard as rocks because they never get cleaned...

There is a pink stepping stool in front of the toilet for easy access...and also a toddler toilet seat on top...

The oven buzzer goes off every 25 minutes during the days I'm home because I am determined to potty train Blake this summer.

My thumbs automatically punch in channel 169 for Disney and cartoons every time I pick it up...even if the kids are in bed.

All living room equipment can be converted to gymnastics tumbling mats in a matter of minutes.

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