@Jesus Calling "Your security rests in Me alone; not in other people, not in circumstances..."
To rest my security in Christ alone.
I have to constantly remind myself when I begin to seek comfort, trust, confidence, hope, and peace in other people and places...because I am most often inevitably set up for disappointment. Most always, actually.
I am realizing that my biggest downfall that leads to this insecurity, is fear. Yes, I know, fear is the root of most insecurity. But mine, more specifically, is fear of failure or looking like a failure. I am a first-born, stubborn, all or nothing, doer! I wouldn't consider myself a perfectionist, persay, but I am someone who is driven. Driven to work hard. Put in the time. Do what needs to be done. I feel that the harder you work, the better you get.
"I've got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end." -Larry Bird
I could agree with that. And I love that. I take pride in working hard. It energizes me. It motivates me. I can work hard, its the only way I know to approach anything. With hard work and lots of time and effort.
Being a wife.
But there are those times when you work so hard and still fall short. Those are the fears I despise. But yet motivate and demotivate me on a daily basis. It is always a mental battle. "Yes you can!" "No you can't!" "What if?" "Who cares!"
I realize at this point I have let my identity and focus slip from my eternal hope and truth in God, to that of temporary gains on earth. And as soon as I realign my motives and thoughts, my fears soon appear very small. Very surmountable. Very unimportant.
But for some reason, it takes me a looooong time to get to this realization. I seek solace and confidence in other people. I look to books and self-help studies to boost my confidence. And yet these all seem to fall short. Understandably so. I need my fears to stay in check and my hopes to stay on my eternal treasures in Heaven.
So as I end this 2013, I have made it my goal to go out strong. To end this year with a new perspective and confidence. Hoping it seeps into my 2014. I have goals, hopes, and desires! I just hope to keep them aligned with Scripture and truth. I will not fear failure. It has no hold over me. I will keep reminding myself of this. I will keep praying about this.
I want to be able to pursue my dreams and goals with freedom. Weightless. With energy.
So far, it feels pretty good... I can do this---err...In Christ alone, I can do this!