Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

It seems like every once in a while I have this post to make.  The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.  I remember when those shirts came out sporting the KU, KSU, and WSU or Mizzou or OU logos splashed under any given title.  So for some reason that title sticks in my head to describe most days at our house.

In the past few weeks...
We went with Leah on her 1st grade field trip to Abilene.  We rode the carousel.  We ate lunch on the train ride. We went to the park.  We saw the chickens. We got in the van, we got out of the van...we got in, we got out.  But we had no major meltdowns, except that Leah got herself pretty worked up on the train ride  and we had to cut the field trip short.  She was amazingly better after a few miles in the van outside of Abilene. Another anxiety issue we are learning about...
Us girls (Leah, Autum, Myself, Kate, and my Mom) all made a road trip to Kansas City to do some shopping of course, and most importantly to attend my cousin and his wife's baby shower.  We got to see my aunt and uncle and my cousins.  As well as spend more time with my grandparents.  My grandpa helped Autum eat her snacks and made sure she stayed on the picnic table.  And my aunt and Autum watched everyone open presents.  

I took Autum into the bathroom with me before we left to head home from the shower.  The bathroom was really small so I had her stand beside me while I used the toilet, then we'd switch.  Well I'm sitting there a few seconds when I feel something combing through my hair...I turn around to see Autum waving the toilet brush around and combing my hair with it saying "pretty hair...pretty hair, mommy!"  AHHHHHH!! (was my reaction) :)

I took a shower the other morning and Autum jumped in with me fully clothed. As usual.  So I stripped her down and we cleaned off. Well, she got out ahead of me and proceeded to dry off.  I shut off the water and got out, only to notice she was using my towel.  I grabbed hers and began drying my hair..when I asked her why she was using my towel...she said "my towel -wet!"  I said okay...continued drying off, then I asked her why her towel was wet...and she said "because I pee-pee on it!"  AHHH!!!

That girl is killing me lately...

The BAD.
This Asperger's thing is taking a lot of getting used too.  I've dealt with it for 7 years, but now I'm realizing how I dealt with it has been totally wrong.  So of course, there is fighting off the mommy guilt.  The guilt that I know I can't let seep in and overtake me because I had no way of knowing what I was dealing with...just thought this was motherhood.  So anyway, I have the most trouble when I find myself reverting back to my old ways of getting angry and frustrated by her inability to do things I think she should be doing on her own by now...or when her anxiety gets so bad she gets physically sick (like on the train ride), or when she is overstimulated and her senses are going awry and she plugs her ears with her hands and screams and yells...I just can't seem to shut my mouth and only make things worse.  So yah, there have been some bad days.  I am reading a good book right now that is opening my eyes even more to how Leah thinks and processes her world around her.  Good stuff! I just told Jerad the other night that I am realizing that Leah doesn't learn by demonstration or observing...like most kids do/can with the basic stuff.  I have to teach her everything.  That, hands down, is the hardest thing for me to have patience doing.  Over and over again...

For some reason with Blake its easier...his special needs is pretty basic and obvious.  What you see is what you get.  I know his shortcomings, his weaknesses/strengths and how to motivate him based on that.  Its pretty cut/dry. For the most part...
Leah is a whole different ball game, you don't know what you are going to get minute to minute.  When she comes out of her room every morning I find myself looking at her eyes..trying to determine what "Leah" will be joining us today.  I feel like I'm always on the defense, trying to be ready to counteract every move she will throw at me...its wearing.

So that's the bad.

 But it isn't all bad...we are having some really good moments/improvements as well.  I feel like we are getting a hold on the rage cycles, as far as preventing them...seeing them coming...bringing her back down before we all go over the edge.  So that has been a blessing!

1 comment:

  1. Have you ever heard about social stories? They are great to help children with ASD. I have used them as a teacher with children with ASD. Let me know if you need more information. The stories have helped many children know what to expect and how to react.