Doctor's Visits

For some dumb reason, I thought it was a genius idea to schedule multiple doctor's appointments the week after Kate's wedding when everyone is so well-rested and back to normal routine...ha.ha.ha.

So Monday was a total blur, as the kids were in full on fatigue crisis-mode.  Screaming, hitting, pooping in our training pants, picking at each other, refusing any snack I offer, throw our cups when they are empty, forget all manners, who needs naptime, and any sanity...mode...

Tuesday I worked all day.  We received 2 offers on the house.  We accepted 1 offer on the house.  We hit full on stress-mode as we realized we had 3 1/2 weeks to move...somewhere...but no idea where..

Wednesday: the first doctor appointment with a new doctor in McPherson.  It was for Autum.  She has been experiencing some very alarming symptoms to me that left my mom gut wondering about diabetes.  Yes.  I had some nightmares about the possibility of 3 of my kids having health issues...but luckily Autum's blood sugar came back normal.  Thank God!   She is now being tested for diabetes insipidis, which isn't as scary but still something I will have to pay attention too.  So anyway the appointment required a urine sample and a blood draw.  Oh lovely...with 3 kids in one tiny room.  So the nurse chooses to do a finger prick to draw Autum's blood, which was fine with me.  This was before I knew they needed 2 vials...Autum was a trooper and did great. She only cried out once and just watched the rest of the time.  I thought we were good until I look over at Leah who was watching...she was white as a ghost.  I start to ask her if she's okay and she immediately sprints to the sink and begins to gag and throw up...

So the nurse moves the rest of her supplies and we let her finish before making her lie down on the check up table and rest.  She gets some water and regains color.  We still have to get a urine sample at this time. So I ask her if she's okay.  She rests while Blake, Autum, and I make our way to the potty.  The nurse puts the little pee collection hat in the toilet and I turn around to help Autum pull her shorts down...I lift her up to sit her on the toilet seat when Blake swoops in pulls the hat out of the toilet, plops it on his head, and takes off running, laughing like PeeWee Herman...oh my gosh!  I'm so glad it didn't have pee in it yet...I get it back in place, block the toilet area with my left leg to shoo Blake away, while I use my right arm and leg to hoist Autum up on the toilet.  It is a full body job.  This is why I workout, folks! :)

After that chaos, I grab both "little's" hands, tell Leah to suck it up buttercup and we dart our way out of there.  I yell at the nurse on my way to call with the results...we quickly drove our way to the park to run off some steam in wide open spaces. 

I recovered from that just long enough to realize we had to drive to Wichita the next day for Blake's endocrinology appointment...wah, wah waaaahhhh.  And this one required us to leave before 8 am.  Another big mess-up!  So I load the kids up in whatever clothes they chose or were already wearing, stopped in and grabbed 3 donuts at the bakery, and off we flew.  I got a few miles out of town before deciding to look in the rearview mirror to see what kind of shape we were in...

This is how my view looked...Autum had no less than 5 headbands in her hair, with 2 in her hands.  A red/pink dress and neon orange tennis shoes on the wrong feet.  Still unsure if she had socks on.  Or panties...or a diaper.

Blake had his glasses pulled down over his mouth and was spitting pieces of donut on the lenses and licking it off.  He was dressed normal, at least, because I had to do it. 

Leah was in jeans, a short sleeve shirt, and a coat!  What in the world??  On a day it was supposed to be 100 degrees...I didn't even bother with that question.  It is what it is...

We pull into the doctor's office, I am pumped we are actually on time.  Go to the front desk and the lady tells me we are at the wrong office.  We should have gone to the other office...out the door, down the street, to the upper level parking garage.  Go down to the main floor, then over on another elevator down the hall, up 1 floor to the left, the office is the 3rd on the right...

Oh....my....gosh.

So then we run out the door hand in hand again...poor Blake flying at the back, I'm not sure his feet were even touching the ground as we moved.  I literally threw the kids in their car seats and off we went.  By this time we were late for our appointment...of course.  Now, at least, we were running more in our typical 15-minutes late fashion.  We get there, go over the stats of his latest thyroid draw.  And decide based on conflicting results from the past 2 blood work samples to do another blood draw.  Leah's face goes white even just hearing those words...

This time I tell her she is not allowed in the room.  Well, we prepare ourselves for the blood work and the nurse states we have to go over to Wesley MC and be admitted as a patient, fill out paperwork, then go wait in line at the lab....

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

And it was nearing the 11 am mark by now...kids were hungry, I was ticked.  Great combination...

So off we go...to another small cubicle.  I load the kids up with pretzels I found at the bottom of the diaper bag to keep them entertained. I made sure there wasn't any mold on them. I answered a lot of questions, turned over more money and insurance paperwork, and headed to the lab.  Blake had to give every single person a high-five that was waiting in the room.  It was the highlight of my day.  I tell you, that kid warms my heart with the way he brightens everyone's face up with s smile.  Just with his presence.  (I think his glasses help too) :) 

He is a trooper, gives the blood.  We go. 
I treated the kids to Five Guys..greasy hamburgers, salty fries.  I even asked the cashier if they sold wine...yes, I was that stressed! 

I sit down and Leah asks if she can pretend to be my doctor now.  I agree, just so I can eat in peace.  She begins to do my check-up using her straw, fork, and a napkin.  I just tell her I'm leaving my clothes on for this one, so don't even ask.  We are in public still.  She whines at first, but finally agrees.  I ask her if she wants to be a doctor when she grows up...
She answers, "I'm not sure, maybe...I'll tell you this, though, I sure as HECK ain't working in the lab!!!"

I agree this is probably true.

Aunt "Kake's" Wedding

The grand event my kids (well at least my 2 girls) have been looking forward to since last fall, finally arrived.  My younger sister, Aunt "Kake" or Kate, got married.  The girls have been trying on their dresses, shopping for shoes, talking about flowers, practicing walking down the aisle, dancing, talking about kissing, and picking out bows for their hair, all in excitement for July 20th. 

All 5 of us played a role in the big day.  I was matron of honor, which required me to buy a strapless bra and learn to walk in heels.  Jerad was an usher.  Which required him to remind me the day of the wedding that I should probably iron his shirt and pants.  Which would then require me to do some major digging for the iron...as well as figure out how to tie a tie.  Leah was a junior bridesmaid so she thought she was pretty big stuff.  Her main reminder all day from me was, "CALM DOWN!"  And quit asking Jeremy (the groom) if he is going to kiss Kate for real...Autum was a flower girl and Blake a ring bearer.  I just kept telling myself to breathe as I caught myself holding my breath wondering what kind of show they would put on when it was their turn to walk the aisle.  *sigh*  I am finally breathing normal again today..and it is Thursday...

Anyway, the rehearsal dinner was a good practice for us all.

I decided I didn't get the memo you had to be red-headed to be a part of this wedding party! :)

Leah learned how to straighten out Kate's dress properly after pretending to swoosh it in the air like you would a sheet when making a bed.  Which lead to Kate's concern as to what type of under panties to wear under her wedding dress--just in case Leah got carried away with her "swooshing" mid-service.  Leah then explained to the audience during the preacher's mock-message that if Aunt Kate farted, she would just wave her hand back and forth behind Aunt Kate's behind to clear the air...no one would even know...

The groomsmen.  And more red-heads...

That was just the beginning...and still only the dress rehearsal...

Blake and Autum were next.  I was to be waiting for them to make their grand entrance at the front of the church.  So they would theoretically run to me.  Well, they get to the front of the aisle.  Autum holding a cowboy hat full of teal and white rose petals and Blake a dainty while pillow with fake rings tied to it...Blake takes one look around...throws his pillow down on the floor and does an elbow drop on top of the pillow.  Autum begins to panic and starts to turn around toward the back of the church.  The other little boy who was a ring bearer and supposed to be in charge of coaxing these two crazy kids down the aisle just starts walking...I'm assuming he was hoping the would follow.  Blake gets up and turns the event into a race...without his pillow.  He takes off running down the aisle toward me.  So then Autum follows.  Blake realizes she has something cool to throw so he turns around and starts back toward Autum.  He grabs a handful of her rose petals and begins throwing them everywhere, like party like its 1999, everywhere!  Autum freaks and abandons the hat.  Blake continues on with his rose petal party until I finally get his attention to come to me.  He comes up toward me and stands...then Kate and my dad quickly make their way down the aisle.  Everyone is nearly in tears right now laughing...Blake sees Kate and Papa coming and he runs back toward them and stops them mid-aisle, by holding his hands up in the air and yelling something that sounded like "Heeeeyyyyy!"  As if he was not done performing, so go back to where you came from...

I scooped him up and shuffled him to my in-laws who were waiting on the side of the church to help.  Along with 'Autum who had no idea what was going on by this point...

And that was just the first night...the real deal wasn't until Saturday.

Mimi even got her hair done.  Not sure what was so scary, though. :)

Actually, the day went well.  We got to the church on time to get our hair done and nails painted.  We all got ready to go take pictures and Leah informs me she didn't wear any panties...and that she didn't bring any either.  Would that be okay?

It was kind of hot, so she should be fine...

She wouldn't let me comb her hair before the stylist did, so this is the reaction I got with the first pull..

We managed to squeeze her into a pair of 4T panties from the other little flower girl and kept on moving.  Pictures were stressful as usual.  And it was clouding up and you could hear thunder in the distance.  This was not good for Leah or Aunt Kate who both share the same genetic tendency toward 'freak-mode' with any sign of a storm.  But we managed..

Leah making sure Kate wasn't out of her site all day...

Now for the main event.  Everyone had on their panties, last bits of hair were tied in place with hair spray, lips tinted, ties tied, flowers pinned...I had a few drinks of wine to take off the edge, I think we were good to go.

Up until this point I was seriously considering switching Autum to ring bearer and Blake to flower boy because it just made more sense.  But the programs would be wrong...so we kept it as it was.

These two were SO happy to be there..

Leah made it up with no hitches.  I didn't trip on my heels.  Autum saw all those people and hit the brakes.  Blake just started walking and hitting the people in the back row with his pillow as he walked by.   Then he started throwing flowers out of Autum's hat...which I was fine with....they were moving everything was good....but then Blake got the novel idea to go back and pick up all the flowers he had already dropped.  I believe his OCD kicked in about now...and he was determined to pick them all up one-by-one.  Any other day I would have been thrilled to see him use his pincer grip so well, but not TODAY!  I had to walk halfway up the aisle and lead both of them to the front of the church and quickly shove them over to my in-laws so the wedding procession could reconvene.  Whew!  That part was over...now if Leah would be gentle with her dress adjusting skills, I could relax.

Thank God for the iPad!

We did make it.  Finally!  The wedding party left the wedding in old cars and I got the privilege of riding in an old remodeled semi truck...it was pretty sweet!  We took some fun pictures at the farm in the rain, in our cowgirl boots, I might add.   And then headed to the party.

My kids danced the night away.  Seriously they did not leave the floor for one song.  Autum even broke out some break dancing moves on the floor in her all white dress.  IT. Was. Hilarious!!  She had a circle surrounding her clapping before it was all said and done.  Who would have thought?  My little shy girl...hmmm...

Anyway, it turned out to be great day! And I was so excited to see my sister happily married off!

 If she would have only taken me to Hawaii with her...what a great end to a great day that would have been!

The Fear of the Black Snake

I feel like all of my life experiences lately, have revolved around poop.

But unfortunately, this is the stage of life I'm living in...so bear with me.

As you know, Autum has been on a long journey of potty training.  This is the most successful attempt we have had yet, in the fact that she is wearing cotton panties for the majority of the day.  Minus naptime and bedtime.  So I think we are almost there! 

Well we were...

Autum has taken a liking to taking her bathroom breaks in our portable Elmo potty that squeals and laughs when you pretend to flush it.  So it sits in her room beside her bed, in case she decides to get up at night and go.  Actually the little potty has made its appearance in several places...in our backyard, by the baby pool, on the front porch, in the back garage...pretty much wherever she demands it to be.

Anyway, it's what is motivating her to go right now.  Despite my annoyance with having to clean it out all the time, its working, so we'll go with it.  Well the other day I walk into her room after hearing her screaming and Leah yelling.

Something to the tone of this: "Autum...look! There's a black snake in your toilet!  Ha! Ha! Ha!  You pooped a black snake!  Watch out it will bite you!"  (and on...and on...)

And Autum proceeds to jump off her toilet with her shorts around her ankles, crying in fear and screaming..."no snake!  No snake! AHHHHH!!"

Now she refuses to go #2 out of fear of the black snake making another appearance...
And I want to cry and laugh every time I know she has to go...because of her genuine fear and because of the hilarity of it all...

I have even stooped so low out of desperation, encouraging her to pinch when she poops so we make "baby snakes.."
Or that the black snake is a nice snake and will go bye-bye down the drain...

So of course we are in a public bathroom at the cardiologist Tuesday and she has to poop...she even tells me she does...so we make our way to the bathroom.  We get in the stall and I begin my coaxing voice hoping it doesn't become an issue...of course there are 2 other ladies using the stalls next to us...and I'm just praying everything comes out alright. :)

Well, of course...this is what happens: "MOMMMY!!! No black snake...nooooo!  It scawwwwr  me...no, no, no! I don't want no black snake....waaaahhhh!"

I begin my typical conversation of making little black snakes and that everyone makes black snakes...and on and on... and the giggling begins...from 2 doors down...

I finally get her to go and we quickly flush the snake down the toilet and get the heck out of there...while I'm washing my hands Autum proceeds to ask the lady washing her hands at the sink if she has a black snake too...

I am ready to just forget the appointment at this point and head home to our protective 4 walls where I can deal with our snake issue in private...but that just isn't feasible...

So until then, we continue to face the fears of the black snake...
*sigh*

1 is the Loneliest Number...or is it?

Or is it 3? Does having 3+ kids send most over the edge when considering invites...

(or at least having 3 little's that take up all your time and energy so you don't have any desire to do more if the invite does come your way)

Or is it a scenario?  Like having 3 kids, 2 of which have special needs...

Or is it adoption?  Does having to quarantine yourself from society the first few months home, make you unapproachable thereafter...

Or is it living in a small town with no family near?

Or is it not attending church or at least not attending church in the town you live in?

Or is it because you are an in-betweener?  You like to go out and have fun, but not get arrested...or judged by those who don't...

Or is it because after God has gotten a hold of your life and turned it upside down, inside and out...opened your eyes to things you can't scratch away... you all the sudden find yourself in a different place, with new and different views, approaches to life, and expectations for life and friendship...and family.

Or is it because you have put yourself in this place because it is easier, it is controlled, it is contained, and doable...

I'm not sure what makes the loneliest number.   But these ideas all roll around in my head at certain times...it's like it cycles.  This feeling of loneliness.  Sometimes it stems from envy of others making plans to get together (without you) or from seeing vehicles at other people's houses sharing in each other's company...Sometimes it stems from the walls closing in on those days when the kids are fighting non-stop, the littlest one is crying for no reason, the dishes are piling up, and you can't get 1 minute to go to the bathroom alone. Sometimes it comes with the realization from your husband's poking fun, that the only conversation you have had with someone outside your home has come from a Facebook chat or text message...in 2 days.  And that those conversations are your only hopes of maintaining sanity.  And then you think its because you have young children...everyone you used to hang out with has little kids too...its just a stage of life...its just a stage of life....maybe?? Time will tell.  Sometimes you put your 'poor' self in this box with your thoughts, out of pure selfishness.  Because that's just where you are at on that particular day. 

I don't know what it is.  But I feel like we have morphed into something new over the past year and a half and we are still struggling to get our feet.  Like we are coming out of a shell into a new world where we are having to start all over.  Our thoughts are different.  Our friendships feel different.  Our desires...our hopes...our expectations...our fun...

Who are we?
What do we do for fun now?
Who do we hang out with?
Why did we do that before?  Or I can't believe we considered that fun before...
How does this work?

How do you just start over?

We are still figuring this out.  But I do know this...it feels like a lonely place.  A place where you don't feel understood.  Or where you seem completely different now, so much so that people aren't sure what to do with you...because different is messy and uncomfortable.  Not easy. 

Changed.
Yes, yes, that is it...changed is the loneliest number.