Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Weighing the Disasters...

This morning I realized how most of my days are spent choosing between 1 disaster or another, 1 mess or another, 1 temper tantrum or another, 1 discipline or another, 1 attention-needing scream or another...All. Day. Long!  My mind is going...going...going. 
I find myself asking these questions...

"Who's need is worse...hmmm, who which child is currently making the bigger mess?  Which child ate first last meal?  Which child is screaming louder?  Which child appears to be in worse harm/shape/pain/anger....fill in the blank.

For example, this morning...I had the 2 toddlers in their high chairs at the table. Leah was busy dipping her tiny apple pieces elbow deep into our 10 gallon jar of peanut butter, so the entire apple disappeared in creamy goodness, before she took a bite, and redipped.  All was good.  For a split second...Autum begins screaming..."I have to pee, I have to pee, I have to pee..."  She pushes herself away from the table and shimmies out of her chair and takes off running upstairs....yelling, "Mom! I need your help to wipe...Mooooooommmm..."  As she disappears....I knew she could get herself started, so I waited a minute or two...because in my mind I was already weighing the odds of who would make the worse mess in my absence...If I leave Leah and Blake...Leah will probably just start eating the peanut butter by the handful, skipping the apples...and Blake was nearly finished with his yogurt and toast...if he finishes before I get back...he will proceed to throw every kitchen utensil, crumb, and every remaining drop of his drink all over the floor, himself and the table...it's a given!  Every time!  BUT...if I wait too long on Autum she will unroll the entire roll of toilet paper in the bathroom upstairs and throw it in the toilet...and if she finishes that roll before I get there, she will get a new one within reach and begin unrolling it--there is a reason the toilet plunger sits right next to the toilet she frequents the most....so ultimately my choice came down to this: Clogged toilet, and -2 toilet paper rolls....OR...a milk, toast, butter, peanut butter, spoon-flinging mess in my kitchen...UGH...

Better go wipe Autum, hope she is done doing her business fast enough for me to wipe and run back downstairs before Blake finishes his last bite...and Leah runs out of apples..

Last night...same thing...
I had to choose between a flooded bathroom floor from Blake doing cannonballs into the tub...or Autum dumping flour all over the kitchen cabinet while she was trying to help me bake a cake...

Or...
Getting Blake out of his crib before he strips down naked and flings his diaper (while praying he hasn't pooped), takes his sheets and blankets off his mattress...or stop Leah from pouring her own cereal and an entire 1/2 gallon of almond milk all over the table...

Or...To load Blake on his side of the van (in a busy parking lot) while holding a 35# Autum in one arm, who provides no assistance to help you hold her...or put Autum on her side of the van and hold Blake while he rubs his snotty, booger nose all over my black peacoat, while wiggling and straining to get loose from your grasp to wave at every stranger who drives/walks by...

Or...to Let Autum ride in the car on the front of the grocery cart at the store and have to keep one arm on Blake in the basket as he continuosly tries to stand up and help you get items off the shelf...or let Blake ride in the car, have to keep one eye on him the entire time (as he is an escape artist) and listen to Autum scream in my ear about having to ride in the cart and not get to walk "like a big girl."  All while Leah begs to ride in the cart or car because her legs are sooooooo tired....

Or... load the kids in the van while it heats up in the morning...let them scream it out together in an enclosed space...knowing that Leah will have the radio blasting, windshield wipers going, and lights blinking/horn honking...Blake will have most likely pooped...just so I can get dressed and at least brush my teeth...OR...go to school in my PJ's, with bad breath, messy hair and untied shoes with no socks...and JUST PRAY I don't get pulled over or have to go into the school for any reason...

You see...?  All decisions.  Weighing the odds...the disasters, the noise level, the damages done...
All day.






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